I Have a Dream...

...that one day, all babies will be created equal!

Okay, so really, I did have a dream. It wasn't a dream meant to inspire, though. My dream won't make you wanna grab a picket sign, go to a restaurant and not eat, or put yourself at the end of a water hose nozzle next to biting dogs. But it might make you laugh.

As goes with most dreams, I don't remember the beginning. The earliest part I remember is the entrance of Stella. I was walking around my house, which seemed to be a very familiar place, like one of my old houses, when Stella just kind of plopped out. I must have told her that it wasn't time, so she went back in. This happened a couple more times. Maybe she found entering and exiting through my vagina to be entertaining. I'll never know. Finally, she decided that she didn't want to go back in, so Stella finally made her last trip through the birth canal. None of this seemed to hurt me. It was as easy as.... well... pie, as the saying goes. And I was just hanging out and walking around while Stella was doing this, by the way. I didn't seem to be very attentive to the fact that my child was being "born". Thankfully, JUST a dream.

So, I've we've discussed, Stella is now here... and walking around. Stella was not born a new born. No, Stella was probably around one and a half, maybe two. She was definitely walking, and she did communicate fairly well, as far as I remember. You'd think birthing a child the size of a one and half/two year old would be painful. Guess not. But back to the dream. So here was Stella, just kind of chillin' out with mommy like a big girl. I remember being kind of sad that I didn't get to have her in the newborn stage, or the beginning of the toddler stage, or experience anything that happens before the age she was at currently. But I also felt kind of relieved that it wouldn't be such a stressful start to being a mommy.

Next thing I know, there's a full blown cookout/get together going on at my house. Not sure how it happened or when it started, but I'm assuming it was a celebration for Stella. Since she wasn't a normal newborn, she got to enjoy the festivities, as well. I remember at one point being on one of those swinging bridges with her, but it was a play bridge, we weren't actually high up or anything. Then I remember her giving me a big grin through a railing, like she was on the other side of a staircase from me or something to that effect. Either way, I remember thinking about beautiful she was and how much I loved her. OH! Something totally weird, she had a super blonde head of thick, beautiful curls that women would DIE for.

The curls were like that, but about shoulder length on her and super blonde. Of course, no child of mine would be super blonde. I guess she could have incredible curls, though. I remember her being a beautiful child (of course I'm gonna think that any child of mine is beautiful), but, other than the hair, I don't remember specifics.

Sometime during the get together, I went to put Stella down for a nap. A thought came to my dream mind that I felt like she had been in my life forever, but it was all still new to me at the same time. As I was laying her down my bed, I realized that I was in my old room from the house we (mom, dad, sister, and I) lived in in Maitland. We moved out of there and left for Colorado right after I turned fifteen, so it was shocking, and wonderful, to be back, especially since I've driven by there in the past three years and the entire house has been torn down and rebuilt. Assholes.

One part stands out to me, and I can't remember if it was before or after the nap. But I remember feeling like I was a bad mom at one point, because Stella was doing something kind of dangerous and someone had to tell me to go get her. I should have been paying more attention and it made me feel really terrible. I think it was when she was looking at me through the railing, as I described earlier. Once againt, Thankfully it's JUST A DREAM.

Also, like most dreams, I don't remember it ending. I imagine it ended abruptly due to my alarm going off, but perhaps not. If anymore comes to me, I will add it to this update.

I feel like this is kind of a milestone because this is the first dream I've had about the baby itself after birth, and not just about being pregnant. Also, I know she was Stella in this dream. Obviously, she was a girl. But I also called her Stella. She knew this was her name. How cool is that?

I'll leave you with a quote:

I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

Amen to that. You tell 'em, MLK.

It's A Good Thing...

...that I really don't have much to say because this means Goy is healthy. My days have been going on as usual, with a bit more cramping, swelling, and lower back pain. However, for the most part, I can't complain.

I'm spending a long weekend at home. Courtney graciously let me hitch a ride with her :) If you want to do something, just call me!

My birthday/doctor's appointment is thirteen days! Even more exciting, my ultrasound is sixteen days away! I'm sure you are all sick of hearing a countdown, though. But I really have nothing else to say. I'll update later when something interesting happens. Sorry for being so boring!

Almost There

Yesterday, I hit 17 weeks pregnant. Only three more weeks 'til the halfway point! Every time I go through another week, I feel like I've accomplished something. Here's what I posted yesterday for 17 weeks:

Today, I'm 17 weeks pregnant. Goy's skeleton is hardening into bone. Goy is about 5 inches from head to rump and weighs 5 ounces. Goy's sweat glands are starting to develop AND Goy can now move his/her little joints.

Here are some pictures from the other day. All taken 16 weeks, 6 days.



I should start to feel Goy move soon. However, they say that if it's a person's first pregnancy, they could mistake baby movement for gas! I will probably be one of these people ha ha ha.

I will be home this weekend. Make sure to give me a call if you want to hang out. I'll be home Friday around 3ish and will be leaving Monday around noon. Then only one weekend stuck in Gainesville (which I will be spending apartment hunting with my rad roomie, Courtney) 'til I'm back for my birthday! Speaking of birthday, that's my next doctor's appointment. I may have already said this, but I'll make sure to get a recording of the heart beat up here so you can all hear it. Then, after Organic Chemistry, my mom and I will be on our way to Anna Maria. I think I'm gonna have a beach day Saturday with Britnifer and some friends to celebrate the start of my 23rd year on earth. Let me know if you want to come! I should be looking rather whalish by then, thanks to Goy's growing little body.

Well, this pointless class is almost over, so farewell!

Ouch

Back to school after a great weekend at home! Unfortunately, I'm really hurting today. I feel like my left shoulder/shoulder blade is going to fall off. I'm not sure if it has to do with my collar bone having been broken when I was little. But carrying my backpack is like torture. I'm sure it has to do with Goy getting bigger, with my body just changing in general. Speaking of Goy, the little boogar is going through a growth spurt and I can feel my uterus stretching, which is not a jolly feeling. AND I'm having weird intestinal stuff going on. I don't even know how to explain the feeling. It's in between my stomach and chest. It's almost like a bloated feeling. And I can't eat much or I'm just not hungry. I felt famished this morning and when I stopped to eat breakfast, I ate about a quarter of my food and felt like I was going to EXPLODE. I need a nap.

But let's talk about Goy. I changed the boy name. The change was inspired by my father, only because he HATES the name Jasper. When I told him my names, he was horrified. "Jasper? Why would anyone who had a choice of what to name their kid name him JASPER? That's not a good Italian name!" He said it with some humor in his voice. We aren't really concerned with the names being super Italian ha ha. But, I decided that I didn't want my dad to hate his first grandchild's name (assuming that Goy is a boy). Therefore, I've changed it to... DRUMROLL... Jack Alexander Conte. And what I love even MORE is that his initials will be J.A.C. I was thinking about Jude, but I've just ALWAYS loved the name Jack. My mom has decided (if Goy is a girl) that her nickname will be Snack Pack, all derived from her initials, SNC. Gotta love my momma.

In other news, my 22nd birthday is just around the corner, about two and a half weeks away! On my birthday (the 8th) is my next doctor's appointment and I will hear Goy's heartbeat again. This time I will make sure to get a recording and post it on here so you can all hear it. Then, three days later (after a weekend at home celebrating the start of my 23rd year) I HAVE MY ULTRASOUND! Exactly three weeks from today.

I'm getting bigger and bigger everrrrry day. I'll make sure to post some belly pictures soon. That's all I have for now! Ciao!

Sweet Tooth

I made the worst decision of my LIFE a couple days ago. We are doing this project in Health class where each student has to do something as a "lifestyle change" for three weeks. It can be adding exercise, smoking less, eating differently... you get the point. WELL, I chose to give up sweets and anything with excess added sugar. And, to add to it, I bet Ben that I could do it. WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?! What pregnant lady wants to give up warm cookies, milk chocolate, gooey oatmeal with lots of brown sugar, highly processed foods with lots of unneeded sugar... KETCHUP?! I love ketchup. I eat it on eggs, I eat it on chicken (any chicken), I eat it with steak (depending on the cut), fries, hamburgers, hot dogs, meatloaf, and I can't even force myself to eat fish without ketchup. The list could go on. Not to mention, I have the world's largest sweet tooth. I adore chocolate, gummies, licorice (only red, not black... ewww), ice cream, or just a spoon full of sugar (which doesn't really help the medicine go down because it gets stuck in your throat). Thankfully, I've been really good at limiting myself from these delicious delicacies (or delicious, generic, sugary, empty calorie products) so that I don't gain extra baby weight. But to cut myself off completely? What was I thinking? I think the pregnancy is making me lose it a little... maybe I'm not all there. MAYBE I'm using too much brain power towards school and the baby, and I don't have any left for regular life. Either that or something unnatural influenced my decision. And what's even worse: I'm going home this weekend (I'm already all booked, so don't ask to hang out!) and my old job has the BEST FREAKING COOKIES EVER (since they got the new baker). They are ooey, gooey, melt-in-your-mouth, and absolutely tasty. I crave them. I love them. I might as well dream about them! If Ben weren't cuter and more talkative than the cookie, I might have decided to date the cookie instead (however, that would have been a short lived relationship. I don't think it could have lasted after the cookie past through my digestive system). Alas, I might have to lose this one...

On a different note... 165 days left until my due date! Also super exciting, 24 days left until my ultrasound. I can't wait to see my little baby on that screen (and find out if Goy is a boy or girl). This is going to be a BIG first in my life. I imagine that nothing will ever quite match the feeling I'll have with my ultrasound to see my first child. And I'm not sure if I could possible be more excited. Any moms out there, how did you feel at your first ultrasound?

Well, class is about to get out (have I ever mentioned that this is a boring, pointless class), so I bid you adieu! Have a fantastic weekend, I know I will.

Time is Flying

I think today has been a good day. I got to sleep until eleven (thank God)! Goy and I have been in great need of that. I did a lot of homework for Health class. I forgot that Buggy ruined my scantron for my midterm, and was rudely reminded today when I went to fill it out. I got to tell my teacher that my dog really did eat my homework. That's a dream come true.

So, I had to fill out a new one after class. Then, some of us from class, did a trivia thing to raise money for March of Dimes and I actually had a really good time and met some cool girls. We ended up with zero points after betting all of ours, but who cares?

I believe in my last post, I mentioned the new toy box (currently being used as a chest in my room until Goy gets here) that my mom bought us at a garage sale. Here's a picture!

It's so practical and I love it! It's not girly or boyish, so it works really well since I'm not sure which Goy will be (only 27 days left 'til I find out!).
For those of you that don't have me on Facebook, here's today's big update: I'm officially SIXTEEN weeks pregnant! I can't believe how fast this is going. I remember how excited I was when I hit eight weeks, because that felt like a milestone to me. And now I'm DOUBLE that! Before I know it, I'll be twenty weeks and will no longer be calling my baby by the name of Goy, it will be Stella or Jasper.

As of today: Goy is starting to grow toenails! ♥ Goy's heart is pumping about 25 quarts of blood a day through the tiny 4.5 inch body (from head to rump). Goy weighs about 3.5 ounces. In the next few weeks, Goy will double in weight and add a few inches to body length. In the next few weeks, I'll start to feel Goy move. I CANNOT WAIT TO FEEL GOY MOVE! It's going to be incredible.

My bump is starting to get bigger. I'll take pictures soon. I'm hoping that this "fat or pregnant" stage is ALMOST over. It should be since Goy's about to start growing really fast. I'm happy that my belly is growing because that means Goy is growing which is usually a good sign of a healthy baby :)

Well, it's time for me to say goodnight. I have a long day tomorrow. Au revoir!

OMGOODNESS.

Wow. I can't believe how long it's been since I've written. I'm really sorry. I know I said I could write every day over spring break (and I could have) but I was having so much fun doing NOTHING! I had a great time over spring break and I wish I had another week left. And I'm so behind on everything. EVERYTHING!

Goy and I got a lot of rest this past week. Or maybe we didn't. I'm not sure. We definitely hung out with a lot of people. And met some new people. And started great relationships :) Also, my mom bought Goy a toy box that I'm using as a trunk in my dorm room for now! I will upload a picture later.

Tomorrow, I will be sixteen weeks pregnant! And today marks exactly four weeks until I find out if Goy is Stella or Jasper. I'm so excited.

Well, I'm about to get out of class, which means I have to wrap this up (ha ha, oops). When I get time later, I'll write more. Sorry for the hiatus!

FINALLY!

I have sufficient time to write a nice, long, blog.

I got home Friday evening around ten, thanks to my ride, Joe. That's an interesting story... the way I got the ride, not the ride home itself.

How I Got Home: My mom informed me weeks ago that she wouldn't be able to pick me up for spring break. See, none of this would be a problem to begin with if my car hadn't broken down for good the first time I went to go home. But, alas, that DID happen, so it DID cause a problem. Like I said, my mom couldn't pick me up. Her hospitable self had been working on a wedding (it took place yesterday) for days and didn't have seven hours to share with the road to and from Gainesville. I told her that I would probably be able to hitch a ride with my rad roomie, Courtney, since she lives in Sarasota. However, Courtney had the audacity to not go straight home for spring break. Imagine that! So, my mom expressed her stressed schedule to a friend of hers with a "to top it all off, Alex doesn't have a ride home..." Well, apparently her friend's son goes to school in Georgia and was going to be on the road home that day, as well. Super weird part: he and my roomie went to school together. So, needless to say, I hitched a ride with him.

After I arrived home, I spent a couple hours with Kalli. However, my pregnant self doesn't like to stay out super late, so I was home and in bed by 12:30 am. Saturday (the next day) I ended up helping with the wedding.

How I Got Roped Into the Wedding: Needless to say, I hadn't done laundry in a while. A big reason for my lack of laundering was due to my enormous, disgusting, horrifying Organic Chemistry exam that took place at 4 o'clock pm on the last day of school before spring break. HOW AWFUL. But back to the laundry... Like I said, I was too busy studying night and day to do laundry (plus, why pay to do it at school when you can take it home and do it for free?) So when I woke up Saturday morning/afternoon decided to call my mom and ask her if I could come do laundry at the house where the wedding took place (it's actually our house, but we are renting it out for season and staying in a little one bedroom apartment/duplex on the Island.... thank God for my little dorm room!) Yes, indeed, I could come over and do laundry. I got there at about noon, noon thirty... and didn't leave until 8 that night! Ask me why. Okay, I'll tell you... While my laundry was in the process of being laundered, I decided that I would help with some of the food prep. My mom always helps me, so I figured that I would help her. Well, I ended up actually having fun helping. So I stayed for a little while longer. Then, I decided that I wanted to watch the wedding ceremony (which almost made me cry even though I didn't know the bride or groom at all... it's just my pregnancy hormone... sigh...). Then I decided that I couldn't miss the reception! Why leave at the most fun time? Needless to say, I ended up helping throughout the whole wedding. But I had a lot of fun and I got to help my mom and hang out with her. I tell you what, though... my feet and my back were absolutely killing me. Goy's little (almost) 4 inch self is really taking a toll on my comfort. But, it will all be worth it. And helping my mom was worth the pain. I love to see her in her element, doing what she loves with the help of people who love her.

I got my Medicaid cards the other day. I was wondering why I had received two envelopes that said something about Medicaid cards being enclosed... until I opened the first one and saw that it was for "Baby of Alexandra Conte". HOW CUTE IS THAT?

Today, I'm getting my hair cut, thank God. It's been long awaited. I'm getting rid of all this nasty, dead hair. Then dinner with Lori, Johnny, and Aiden :) Loving Spring Break.

Well, that's really all I have right now. Not much of a baby update, but there isn't much to say. I believe Goy is doing swimmingly (yes, pun intended) and my belly is getting a little bigger, but not noticeably. I'm still in the "is she fat or pregnant?" stage. Oh well. "This too shall pass"... right? Au revoir!

P.S. How far along should I be when I have my baby shower?

Spring Break!

Thank God, it is almost here. Twenty four more hours and I will be free. First, I have to get through two morning classes and my 4 o'clock Organic Chemistry exam (fingers crossed that I do well on this one! The last one was not so pretty). I'm ready for a time of rest and relaxation (although I do have some homework to do over the break). My plans consist of no more than bbqing, going to the beach, and whatever comes my way. Goy and I are ready for some sunshine and friends :) Then, upon return to school, I'll only have four weeks 'til my ultrasound!

Well, off to Orgo tutoring. Hooray! Not.

Not Much Time...

...But I'll do a really tiny update.

For those of you don't see me on Facebook:
(This was from yesterday). Today, I'm 14 weeks pregnant. It is the start of my second trimester! Goy can squint, grimace, pee, frown, and MAYBE even suck little thumb. Goy is about 3.5 inches long. Goy weighs 1.5 ounces. Goy's body is growing faster than the head, now. Goy is also starting to grow hairs! Also, Goy's liver is making bile and Goy's spleen is helping to make red blood cells. Goy's hands and feet are about half and inch long :)

Also, I was subjected to a presentation on a Summer B study abroad program in Rome. I want to go so badly and, unfortunately, cannot since I'm not allowed to do much travel past 30 weeks pregnant (The trip would go from June 26th to the August 5th). August 5th will put me at 36 and a half weeks. As cool as it would be for Goy to have dual citizenship (since the possibility of going into labor a little over three weeks early is great), I don't really want to be an ocean away from my family and friends on the scariest, yet happiest, day of my life (so far). Plus, money is an issue. I can't just pull $4,500 out of my butt, although that would be rather lovely (not to see, but to do). So, I've resigned myself to the fact that I will have to wait 'til next year and, when the time comes, find someone to watch Goy for 6 weeks. Perhaps this is where baby daddy's major role will come in.

Well, unfortunately, this is all I have time to write. I'm really sorry. However, spring break is only two days away and I will be able to write at least once a day during that time. Ciao!

P.S. This is my first post in March!