Friday, January 28, 2011

The Beginning

As an introduction, I'll go ahead and let everyone know that this is my FIRST blog. A friend recommended that I start one when we discussed my pregnancy. So here it goes!

Okay, so before I got pregnant, I heard a lot of Moms say, "Oh, I knew exactly when I got pregnant with (insert preferred baby name here). I could tell right away!" I always said PHOOEY to that, there's NO way someone can know they're pregnant right away! Well, it's true. It happened to me. I remember the whole night of my conception (I haven't quite decided yet if I'm going to keep this censored, but, for now, I'll try to keep it PG rated) because after "the deed" was completed, I thought to myself, I'm probably pregnant. Behold, I was right.

I treated the next three or so weeks like normal, repeating over and over my mantra of "Oh, that kind of stuff doesn't happen to me..." Don't fool yourself, ladies. This kind of thing can happen to EVERYONE (everyone with ovaries, that is). I'm 21, so I still have a little of the invincibility aura around me. Not so much anymore.

Because of my complete lack of acknowledgment to the fact that I probably really was pregnant, I went about doing everything I was doing: drinking, smoking cigarettes, staying out late every night, attending a few classes in the mix, and just being your average 21 year old. Thankfully, babies seem to be quite resilient at their start. So don't freak if you've been drinking or smoking around the first trimester, your baby will most likely be okay. However, it's kind of mean to your little sea monkey if you keep it up after you find out.

I had friends assure me, "You're not pregnant. There's no way. Are your boobs hard?" I would feel my boob, and then relay the information that, yes, they were extremely hard.
"Oh, well then you might be pregnant." That's pretty much how it went for three weeks up until the night before I took my pregnancy test (which I irresponsibly spent drunk because I knew I was taking the test the next day. I look back on that and feel like such an ass.)

At the point of my conception, I was only weeks away from moving to Gainesville to be a Junior at University of Florida (Go Gators!). The day I took the pregnancy test was the day before my departure. All of my stuff was packed, I'd had my going away party, said Au Revoir to my friends, quit my job, and had everything sorted out. Until I saw those two little ominous blue lines. My hands were shaking, my breath was caught in my chest, and I immediately saw my future and my current weight loss goal go up in flames. However, I've always been an advocate against using abortion as a birth control. I knew what I had done, it was half my fault that I was pregnant, and I knew that I couldn't take out my frustration and panic on my unborn child. So I opted for adoption which I assured everyone was going to be a piece of cake. Yeah, right.

I had friends urge me, plead with me, to get an abortion. They assured me that my life would be ruined and I would never have fun again if I went through with the pregnancy. It made me angry. I was horrified at what they wanted me to do to my baby. Have any of you ever seen a picture of an abortion? It's horrible, absolutely disgusting. I thought about posting one, but it truly is awful and I don't want to subject anyone that doesn't want to see it. Instead, I will post a link. Please don't go to this link lightly. Series of Abortions. You have to scroll down a bit. I'm warning you again, these are very disturbing images.

So, clear with my decision to go to term with my baby, I went forward with my schooling, continuing with my move to Gainesville. I tell you what, I have no regrets whatsoever about deciding not to abort my child. It is truly a miracle. As for the adoption part, that resolve took a bit of a harder hit.

Well, that concludes the beginning of the story. The rest continues in Gainesville.

No comments:

Post a Comment